Thursday, July 29, 2010

Commando (1985)

"I eat Green Berets for Breakfast...and right now I'm very hungry!"

Like Tom's review for "Red Heat" this will be relatively brief. If you've ever seen a parody of 80s Action, namely "Hot Shots" and a few others like it, then you've seen "Commando". It is every Military-Infused Action cliche rolled into one movie. I'm at a loss how to review it, though. Taken on its merits as a part of American Cinema it is a joke but I can't tell you how much fun I had watching it. There were more one liner's than you could count and they were all gold!! The villain had an awful fake accent and Arnold's former pal turned bad guy Bennet, well, he could have been in the Village People. The guns are huge and loud and in the climax of the film, Ah-nuld is carrying so many guns they are literally hanging off of him. All Ah-nuld has to do is pull the trigger and wave his massive gun from left to right and bad guys just fall down...oh my god, it was 80s Action Movie cheese at its best. I won't say much about the story because honestly there isn't much to say. Ah-nuld is John Matrix, yes you read that correcty, John Matrix. He is a retired Army commando who lives with his daughter in the mountains of Northern California. Ah-nuld's former commando teammates start getting picked off so his former commanding officer visits to warn that he may be next. Immediately following the Generals departure Ah-nuld is attacked, his daughter is kidnapped and he is forced to go on one last mission but this time for the bad guys. Let's just say it doesn't turn out too well for them.

I said in my second opinion to Tom's "Rambo: First Blood pt. 2" review that IT was the epitome of 80s Action but I was wrong, "Commando" is what people think of when they remember 80s Action: Unrelenting, unrealistic, full of machismo, death, violence, gore, infinite bullets and Ah-nuld. Loved it. 3.5/5 -andy

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