Tequila Sunrise (1988)

"This is my backyard damnit, and I wanna know what goes on in my backyard...he's my best friend!"

In this complex thriller we find two friends on opposite sides of the law. Dale Mckussic (Mel Gibson) is a somewhat retired drug dealer attempting a normal life for fear that the long arm of the law is fresh on his tracks and his luck may soon run out. Narcotics Lt. Nick Vallenari (Kurt Russell) just so happens to be Dale' s best friend but is also pressured by the department and the government to investigate suspicious activites with Dale's life. These including a love interest with a local restaurant owner (Michelle Pfeiffer), who may have knowledge of a shipment of cocaine coming up through Mexico being handled by Dale and a man named "Carlos" who the Mexican bureau, headed by the fabulous Raul Julia, have been watching for some time now.

Having never seen this movie until now and only recently watching "Chinatown", I have a newfound respect for writer/director Robert Towne who somehow creates a genre out of material that most would say has run its course. As in "Chinatown", the story and the characters blend together so well you cant help but to be pulled into their world. At times it is a dark comedy, especially between Gibson and Raul Julia. Julia is a force to be reckoned with on screen, although I wont give away anything if you havent seen it , both deliver Oscar-worthy performances. "Tequila Sunrise" did however garner an oscar nod for its cinematography. It is a wondeful film and one I would watch again. 4/5-tom

Over The Top (1987)

"The world meets nobody half way"

Stallone stars as Lincoln Hawks. Truck driver by day and professional arm wrestler by night. Faced with obstacles in his marriage by his menacing father-in-law played by Robert Loggia, Hawks is forced to leave his wife and two year old son. Now ten years later, his wife who is struggling for her life asks Lincoln to take their son on the road with him and try to give him the father he has never had. Spoiled by his rich grandfather his son is not at all thrilled by his fathers lifestyle as a truck driver. Loggia without knowledge of his daughters decision sends his men after Hawks to reclaim his grandson. Hawks then introduces his son to arm wrestling leading to an all out brawl at the national competitions held in Las Vegas.

Overall this is one of the best characters Stallone has portrayed. While the idea of a professional arm wrestling organization may seem far fetched it actually does exist. The story is original and low key for the most part for being portrayed as an "action film". The competitions are fun to watch with some interesting characters and Loggia as the insane grandfather is a wonderful villain. The film almost feels like it was made in the 70s until mullets and handlebar mustaches are introduced. I enjoyed watching this film but if I had to break it down it was a mix of "Commando", "Rocky 5", and "The Pursuit of Happiness" rolled in one. It is the best arm wrestling movie ever made. Wait... Its the only one. 3.5/5 -tom

Red Dawn (1984)

"Avenge ME!!! Avenge ME!!!"

Ok, so let's get this annoying plot summary thing over with quickly and move on to the fun stuff. Russia and Cuba invade small, northwestern American town in Colorado. A handful of kids, including Matt Eckert (Charlie Sheen), escape with Matt's older brother Jed Eckert (Patrick Swayze) into the mountains outside of town. They survive for awhile by hunting and eventually return to town to find the Commie's have taken over and turned it into command center numero uno. On the way back to the mountains they visit an old family friend who reveals to them that World War III has begun and they are about 50 miles inside of enemy lines. A few new characters pop up from here to there including Powers Boothe as downed Air Force pilot Andy. The small group, now calling themselves the 'Wolverines' begin a rebellion and strategically attack there Russian/Cuban foes.

Ok...Stop there. "Red Dawn" is very well made and far more of a war film than I thought it would be. I'd never seen it despite the number of people who'd always told me it was a good movie. After a week of 80s Action films I really expected the heroes to come out the other side of this unscathed but not everybody does. Who bites the dust? For those few of you who've never seen it, I will leave you in suspense. However, I really hate it when the good guy you've been rooting for the entire hour and fifty three minutes bites the bleeping dust!! I know that it's more realistic this way but c'mon, we come to the movies for fantasy right? Escapism, RIGHT? My complaints don't stop there, oh no, you should be so lucky!! At times the movie seems to take itself a little too seriously and it occasionally became overly dramatic . Hey, Charlie Sheen's character, your 'friend' betrayed you and sold you out to the Russians and you DON'T want to kill him? You want me to be sympathetic? Somebody's wires got crossed. Anyhow, it was pretty good all in all and most of you would probably dig it minus a few gripes. It drags on a bit and anybody who gets it, gets it in the last 15 minutes. It wasn't terrible though I'll probably never sit through it again...but hey, I've never really liked war movies anyway. 2.5/5 -andy

SECOND OPINION: Well theres no accounting for taste. On that note "Red Dawn", given the time it was made and the material that was being dealt with, which was somewhat contriversal having such an impact on American culture during the Reagan administration. At the time these fears were real just like the Cuban Missile Crisis. The characters are all portrayed well and the story is solid and original. A very young Patrick Swayze delivers the best performance. Keep your eyes out for the remake this year which I hope does the original justice. As one of the best films of the 80s " Red Dawn" deserves more. 3.5/5

48 Hrs. (1982)

"Jack...tell me story?" - "Fuck You" - "Oh, that's one of my favorites."

"48 Hrs." came out in 1982 which happens to be the year I was born so I was too young to see it when it was first released. Not only that but I'm not the worlds biggest Eddie Murphy fan so I had multiple reasons to not have seen this movie. Well thank goodness for 80s Action week because I have just witnessed one of the most enjoyable cop movies I have ever seen. Nick Nolte plays Jack Cates. A tough cop trying hard to make things work with his girlfriend Elaine when he accidentally gets sucked into plot involving escaped convict Ganz (James Remar) and the Native American man who helped him escape, Billy Bear (Sonny Landham). Jack must enlist the help of the one man from Ganz' gang who is still imprisoned, Reggie Hammond (Eddie Murphy), to stop the cop-killing Ganz and recover the money he is trying to steal from Reggie. Reggie is in jail with 6 months left on a 3 year sentence but Jack forges an official document that grants Reggie release for 48 hours. Ganz or no Ganz, Reggie must return to jail in that time.

"48 Hrs." works because it is 3 things rolled into one nice little package: An exciting sort-of Buddy Cop movie, a tense 80s Action Thriller and an often hilarious Comedy. The play between Nolte and Murphy is fantastic and although the two couldn't be more opposite they work extremely well together. In the end you'll see that they both put up tough fronts but don't really hate each other nearly as much as they let on. Nolte's tough cop routine is still fresh here and I believe in his character far more than Stallone's Cobra or any of Ah-nuld's half-baked portrayals. Again we have a film that has none of the 80s Action cliche's we keep talking about. Perhaps that is because it came out earlier in the decade before Action movies had the chance to become so ridiculous. It produced on sequel in 1990's "Another 48 Hrs." Word on that one to come later. If you like cop movies that have a even mix of Action and Comedy regardless of the decade the film came from, you will love this movie. 4/5 -andy

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)

"Hey, Dr. Jones, no time for love we've got company"

Prequel...yes. Sequel...yes. In the second of the George Lucas/Steven Spielberg movie franchise we find Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) in Shanghai at club Obi Wan. Really George? Where he is making a deal with with Chinese gangsters. He then meets the club singer Willie Scott, played by Spielberg's wife (Kate Capshaw), and during a botched deal uses her as cover and the two escape the club after an entertaining romp through the club with guns blazing. Enter Indy's sidekick, a little boy called Short Round. Short Round takes Indy and his newly found lady friend racing through the streets of Shanghai using a piece of wood to reach the gas pedal, the three eluding the gangsters run to the airport to catch a plane out. Only problem the plane is sabotaged by gangster cronies and the three have to use a blow up raft to parachute midway through the trip and land in India. Here the meet villagers who's children have been taken by a evil cult within the mountains using them as slave workers. The Shaman of the village blames the evil presence on three missing stones that were taken out of the village which possess some kind of mystical power. Indy, Shortround, and Willie embark on an adventure through the mountains in an attempt to free the children and retrieve the stones.

Now with "Temple of Doom" you either love it or you hate it. Me I love it. Its fun, fast paced, and a visual treat. While the darker of all the Indy films it still carries an abundance of humor. With great characters created by Lucas and Spielberg and a wonderful set locations, it is none the less awe inspiring. After watching this you want more, which Spielberg and Lucas did in 1989 with "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade" and once again in 2008 in the very underrated "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull". Indy is a hallmark of American cinema and one of Harrison Ford's best characters. It is my least favorite of the film franchise but I still love it and enjoy watching it every now and then and I highly recommend it if your in the mood for some good old-fashioned fun. 4/5-tom

F/X (1986)

"You were great. Nobody dies like you!"

Ok, so you may ask yourself, "Is something missing from this review?" You would be correct in that assumption. This movie is so rare and unheard of that there isn't even a trailer for it on Youtube. The strange thing is, however, I found a trailer for its sequel. Moving on... A few days ago I found myself searching for 80s Action films that I could watch and review to finish out the week. One of these lists had "F/X" on it and I remembered seeing it at the video store when I was younger. I asked Tom if he had seen it and he replied that he remembered it slightly and that he felt he didn't like what he remembered of it but to give it a shot and let you all know what I thought. Well, after viewing the movie I can safely say I really enjoyed myself. I'm a little afraid to see the sequel or the TV series that was based on it for fear it would ruin the experience. Bryan Brown plays Roland Tyler, the newest and best make-up effects wizard in Hollywood. Roland is hired by the Witness Relocation Program to fake the death of mob boss Nicholas DeFranco (Law and Order's Jerry Orbach) for $30,000 so DeFranco can in turn safely testify against the mob. Everything goes off without a hitch until immediately afterwards when one of the men Roland was working for tries to kill him. His life is turned upside down he goes on the run, using hits wits and talents as an effects man to learn the truth and clear his name.

A nice supporting cast brings up the rear with a great performance by Brian Dennehy as Lt. McCarthy, the cop who brought in Defranco in the first place. McCarthy has a bad feeling and just can't let this case go. He risks his career to find out what is really going on but his intentions are good and you can't help but like him. The film has this "The Game" meets "Oceans 11" vibe and if that doesn't make sense at first, you'll know what I mean by the end. Its nothing overwhelmingly special, but if you see it in the bargain bin or for a cheap rental you should really check it out. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. 3/5 -andy

Highlander (1986)

"There can be only one!"

"Highlander" came out in the middle of a decade where every action film was about bad ass cops or ex-military types who were getting revenge and killing anything that moved. "Highlander" without a doubt is one of the most original and best films to be released throughout the entire decade. A spectacular movie with great action, a real heart and wonderful characters. You may be familiar with it already, but for those of you who are not allow me to enlighten you. Christopher Lambert stars as Connor MacLeod who has been alive for about 400 years. As a member of the Clan MacLeod in the Highlands of Scotland, Connor was originally killed in battle by the Kurgan (Clancy Brown) who is the toughest of all immortals. Connor heals and is banished from his village for being in league with Lucifer after his miraculous survival. Five years later he has a new life and woman when he meets Ramirez (played with delight by the one and only James Bond, Sean Connery). Ramirez has sought out MacLeod and teaches him about being immortal and on how to fight. He reveals to MacLeod that to kill an immortal means you have to cut off their head, but you all probably knew that by now, right? Years of movies about creatures and others who cannot be killed except for separating the brain from the body have been permeating cinema a long time now and are quite commonplace. In 1986 however, it was still really cool.

Fast forward to 1985 when Connor, going under the assumed name 'Russell Nash' is the owner of an Antiquities business where he showcases and sells various items he has collected throughout his long life. Connor kills another immortal in the parking garage of Madison Square Garden where he is arrested speeding away and is interrogated by the police. He is released but curious Forensic technician Brenda becomes as interested in him, as Connor is in her. Soon the Kurgan arrives in New York where all the immortals have come for 'The Gathering', a time when the few immortals that are left will battle until there can be only one and he will receive the prize. What is the prize? Well, even I'm not 100% clear on that but you'll have to watch it and see for yourself.

I could go on about "Highlander" forever. While it's not without its 80s corniness so prevalent in films from throughout the decade, it never exhibits ANY of its pesky cliches. The soundtrack from Queen is far better than the average Techno / Hair Band score we usually hear in these films and as I said in the beginning it stays away from the whole military, cop 80s Action trap. I almost didn't want to review it during 80s Action week because it is so unlike any other 80s Action film but I found it hard to classify as anything else except for maybe fantasy. Probably my favorite thing, though small and seemingly insignificant, is the relationship Connor has with his secretary Rachel - a young girl he rescued during World War 2, now older than him in appearance only. It is really quite touching and lends something to the film beyond just action. "Highlander" spawned 3 film sequels, a TV series and a couple of terrible SyFy channel movies. Its too bad none were nearly as good and muddied what started out as a wonderful story. Not A perfect film but very close. 4.5/5 -andy

Bloodsport (1988)

"Very Good. But brick not hit back!"

Well here we are again with another timeless Van Damme classic. "Bloodsport" plays out much like a live action version of a Street Fighter video game, even more so than Van Damme's own Street Fighter adaptation in 1994. American martial artist Frank Dux (pronounced "Dukes", an actual person as it turns out) who is also a military man, travels to Asia to compete in a Kumite tournament against the Army's wishes. Frank does so to make his master Tanaka proud and to prove he is the best. The military sends two men to bring Frank back to America in one piece, one of whom is played by Forrest Whitaker. The rest is pretty predictable. Frank meets a fellow American in the form of loud-mouthed Ray Jackson and is sweet on reporter Janice Kent, who is set on getting into the Kumite so she can do a story on it. The enemy in this is Chong Li, reigning Kumite champion. That's all I'll tell you for the sake of not giving everything away, however, should you see the film you'll find it pretty easy to figure out long before its over.

"Bloodsport" doesn't tread any new ground whatsoever, but it is definitely one of Van Damme's best. As usual his martial arts are top-notch, and this time the character's stand out much better than in "Kickboxer". The dialog is lame and the acting is pretty stiff but I found "Bloodsport" very entertaining through all of its drawbacks. Van Damme is especially at home in a story about a martial arts tournament. It is also my understanding that the real Frank Dux choreographed the fights in the film and trained Van Damme himself. Its old and a little aged, but if the martial arts section of 80s Action films are your thing, you'll enjoy "Bloodsport". 3/5 -andy

Lock Up (1989)

"Nothings dead until its buried"

Frank Leone (Stallone) was sent to prison for going after the men who killed his longtime friend and mentor when the police and prosecutors did nothing. He accepts what he has done and accepts the consequences and is sent to a minimum security facility where he is a model inmate. Having served four and a half years with only six months left on his term Leone is low key just biding his time until release. Then suddenly he is taken from his bed in the middle of the night and transferred to a maximum security prison upstate courtesy of Warden Drumgoole (Donald Sutherland), who Leone has a certain history with. Drumgoole wants one thing and one thing only...revenge, and will do anything in his power to make Leone's stay at his facility a waking nightmare. He is beaten, placed in segregation, and refused the right to see his girlfriend. Chink (Sonny Landham), the worst and meanest inmate in the prison along with countless guards, are under the control of the warden and all try to break Leone.

While this is one of Stallone's better movies outside of the "Rocky" and "Rambo" series', it falls apart at the end. For the most part however, it was one of the better prison movies I've seen. Stallone and Sutherland work great as hero vs. villain. Its a decent movie, but like I said, the last fifteen minutes or so just didn't do it justice. 2.5/5 -tom

Lethal Weapon 2 (1989)

"But... your ble'ck"

Picking up a few years after the first, we find Riggs (Mel Gibson) and Murtaugh (Danny Glover) still together this time on the trail of South African currency called Krugerrand which is coming into LA illegally and being used for the trade and distribution of drugs. Riggs and Murtaugh are sent to protect a witness Leo Getz (Joe Pesci) who has information on the case, but after an attempted assassination on him he now must go with them on the hunt for whoever is responsible. The three follow the trail to Arjen Rudd (Joss Ackland) and his South African henchmen who are hiding behind diplomatic immunity, which as Rudd describes "my dear officer, you couldnt even give me a parking ticket". Riggs soon finds out that not only are these men in the country conducting illegal activities but one of them is involved in what was supposedly the accidental death of his wife.

"Lethal Weapon 2" is a little more upbeat than the original with comedy relief from Pesci escpecially in the South African consulant where he tries to get Murtaugh a visa back to Africa. Gibson and Glover once again shine and are a treat together. Joss Ackland brings to the table a kind of 'James Bond' type villian, and my personal favorite of the four films, with his venomous lead henchman Pieter Vorstedt (Derrick O'Connor) tempting Riggs with stories of how his wife died. "Lethal Weapon 2" is a film that shouldn't be missed and is a good example of great movie sequels. 4.5/5 -tom

Lethal Weapon (1987)

"I'm still here asshole, or do you only shoot kids!"

Martin Riggs (Mel Gibson) is an LAPD cop struggling to make it through everyday. After losing his wife Victoria in tragic car accident, Riggs is obsessed with death and even contemplates taking his own life. He is considered by the department as a "Lethal Weapon". Roger Murtaugh (Danny Glover) is also a cop who is on the verge of retirement, father of three, and married happily. Given Rigg's recent behavior their captain decides to make them partners giving Murtaugh the job of watching over Riggs. The two are investigating a suspicious suicide of the daughter of one of Murtaugh's Vietnam buddies which leads them to a unit of former soldiers, now guns for hire, sneaking drugs into the country.The main villains, The General (Mitchell Ryan) and Joshua (Gary Busey), attempt to keep the new duo off their backs even if it means going after their families.

With excellent action, a strong storyline, good characters, and great acting by all, you cant help but to have a good time. Mel Gibson and Danny Glover are perfectly cast creating one of the most memorable duos in movie history. The two work great together and have some hilarious moments. Director Richard Donner spawned three other just as good sequels. Over twenty years later this film never gets old. This is what you want from an action movie and should be an example for all. It is 80s, it is kick-ass, it is "Lethal Weapon". 5/5 -tom

SECOND OPINION

Not much to add this except to say that Tom is right on the money. "Lethal Weapon" is a ton of fun and one of the few cases where all the sequels are nearly as good as the original. Don't let Mel Gibson's current insane behavior deter you from this awesome 80s Action movie. 5/5 -andy

Big Trouble in Little China (1986)

"I'm a reasonable guy, but Ive just experienced some of unreasonable things"

Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) is a truck driver making his way through San Fransisco when he stumbles on a war between rival Chinese gods. The gods are after a rare Chinese woman with green eyes. Burton must help protect the woman and destroy the gods by whatever means necessary.

There really is no way to describe this movie and have it make any bit of sense. From the mind of John Carpenter (Escape from New York and Halloween), this is a action/sci-fi adventure littered with everything 80s. Russell character is so over the top with his John Wayne monotone but creates a character you cant help but follow even if its to hell and back. Russell carries this movie and is at times quite funny, but it cant save this film. How this movie escaped my childhood is beyond me. I'm sure as a kid I would have enjoyed it more. But for the most part it is a "yeah I've seen it" kinda movie and I wouldn't recommend it unless you like this sorta thing. 1/5 -tom

SECOND OPINION

Well, I knew it was gonna happen eventually folks...Tom and I disagree on this one BIG TIME. In fact, its too bad that my friend here doesn't like good movies because I think he would've felt differently about "Big Trouble In Little China" if he did. What Tom doesn't tell you was that this movie is always a little bit tongue-in-cheek and has a very intentional goofy tone to it. In fact, I don't really know anybody that doesn't like it. Most of my family (parents and in-laws) have told me that it's one of their fav's from the decade. Kurt Russell's character isn't really the hero type in this film and that's the whole point of it...much like Adrian Brody in Peter Jackson's "King Kong" he is somebody who takes up the mantle of hero though they've never desired the role. I urge you to see it for yourself and disregard Tom's review. Tom - this means war!!! 5/5 -andy

Cobra (1986)

"This is where the law stops and I begin!"

Once again we have another 80s Action film that adheres to every possible cliche and convention that it could possibly adhere too. Much like "Commando", "Cobra" is a bad, bad movie when looked at against all of cinema and many of its classics; however, as a Stallone film it kicked ass. What else can I say? Stallone is Marion Cabretti (aka Cobra) and is, yup, you guessed it...the top cop in the city. Cobra is a member of the 'zombie squad', a group of officers that other police call on to do the tough jobs (I thought that was the SWAT team?). When a rash of serial killings begins to plague the city, Cobra is called on to do "what he does best". The killings are being committed by not just one person but by a whole (biker?) gang of crazies who kill with knives, axes and claw hammers. Brigitte Nielsen stars as a woman who accidentally witness the group during a killing and is now on the run for her life.

Watching "Cobra" is kind of like playing a video game with god mode, unlimited ammo and one-hit kill codes on. You never fear anything will ever happen to Stallone and you know he is going to kill any body he fires at weapon at with as few bullets as possible. While not as wholly ridiculous as "Commando" it is so freaking unbelievable you'll occasionally laugh til you cry. If you're a Stallone fan or you love these types of cliched 80s Action films then you'll be in testosterone heaven but if you're looking for something deeper you may want to pass. I have to say, I found myself really having fun watching this despite its shortcomings so it gets bumped up a half a point for its pure entertainment value. 2.5/5 -andy

Kickboxer (1989)

" I want Tong Po! Give me Tong Po! "

Oh, Van Damme, how you filled my youth with your martial arts movies. Because of you I took Karate lessons for a year or so when I was in Elementary school. I wonder how many times has your thick-as-mud French accent been passed off as American? Ah, The memories. "Kickboxer" came out in 1989 but it looks like it came out in 1979. It doesn't hold up well visually and Van Damme's acting is as stiff and hard as his ridiculously chiseled physique. The Martial Arts film has its own little niche in 80s Action films and this is where Jean Claude Van Damme made himself a star. There is little difference between this or many more of his own films and others. The story follows Kurt (Van Damme) and his Kickboxing champion older brother Eric as they travel to Thailand to compete against Thailand's greatest, Tong Po. Eric is cocky and convinced he will win. Kurt tries to change his mind to no avail. Eric is promptly defeated and paralyzed from the waist down due to a final elbow to the back by Tong Po. Kurt vows revenge (who didn't see that coming?) and is introduced to Xian Chow by Winston (the former military man who drove Kurt and Eric to the hospital after the fight). Xian Chow trains Kurt in Muay Thai Kickboxing in a fashion not unlike Mr. Miyagi trains Daniel-san in "Karate Kid". That's pretty much the extent of the plot.

I didn't hate "Kickboxer" but I didn't really like it much either. I loved Van Damme movies when I was young but I hadn't seen one in nearly 20 years. The martial arts are good and Van Damme, as with other 80s Action stars during the decade, is in his prime but the dialog is terrible, the characters are goofy, underdeveloped and not very believable. For hardcore Van Damme fans only. Skip on this and instead see "Best of the Best." 1/5 -andy

Rambo 3 (1988)

"Who are you."- "Your worst nightmare."

In the third part of the Rambo quadrilogy we find our hero at a Buddhist monastery living a life of peace and serenity, closed off from the outside world for several years . Once again Rambo is met by Colonel Trautman (Richard Crenna) with an offer to assist him and a crew of soldiers in aiding relief in Afghanistan from a Russian dictator. Rambo denies and the colonel and his crew go into Afghanistan and are captured by the Russians and labeled as spies and held as POWS. Now in the past Rambo has been saved by the colonel numerous times, now the role is reversed, Rambo has no choice but to do what he does best... become war. He travels to Afghanistan and is aided by locals in the search and capture of his missing friend.

While "Rambo III" is the weakest of the four films it is still an outstanding action film. It is a story of two friends and the lengths they will go to save one another. The main villain is a little corny but most are in this genre. It was nice to see the roles reversed between Stallone and Crenna and the two played well together. "Rambo III" is full of outrageous stunts, explosions, and dialog. But all and all a memorable action film. I will leave "Rambo", the fourth film in the series to Andy. I cannot wait for that review either. I hope he is as impressed with it as much as I was. So on that note "Rambo III"... worth watching. 3/5 -tom

SECOND OPINION

I just finished watching "Rambo 3" for the first time ever so I thought I'd pop on here give a couple of brief thoughts. For me, this was the most enjoyable Rambo film yet. Sure, it was pretty unbelievable but no more unbelievable than any other Rambo film or Ah-nuld movie from the 80s. It had twice as much action as "Rambo: First Blood Pt. 2", it moved along at a much better pace and there were tons of really cool explosions and kills. The reversal of Trautman and Rambo's roles in this one, I thought, made things really interesting and changed the dynamic to just the right degree. 3.5/5 -andy

Commando (1985)

"I eat Green Berets for Breakfast...and right now I'm very hungry!"

Like Tom's review for "Red Heat" this will be relatively brief. If you've ever seen a parody of 80s Action, namely "Hot Shots" and a few others like it, then you've seen "Commando". It is every Military-Infused Action cliche rolled into one movie. I'm at a loss how to review it, though. Taken on its merits as a part of American Cinema it is a joke but I can't tell you how much fun I had watching it. There were more one liner's than you could count and they were all gold!! The villain had an awful fake accent and Arnold's former pal turned bad guy Bennet, well, he could have been in the Village People. The guns are huge and loud and in the climax of the film, Ah-nuld is carrying so many guns they are literally hanging off of him. All Ah-nuld has to do is pull the trigger and wave his massive gun from left to right and bad guys just fall down...oh my god, it was 80s Action Movie cheese at its best. I won't say much about the story because honestly there isn't much to say. Ah-nuld is John Matrix, yes you read that correcty, John Matrix. He is a retired Army commando who lives with his daughter in the mountains of Northern California. Ah-nuld's former commando teammates start getting picked off so his former commanding officer visits to warn that he may be next. Immediately following the Generals departure Ah-nuld is attacked, his daughter is kidnapped and he is forced to go on one last mission but this time for the bad guys. Let's just say it doesn't turn out too well for them.

I said in my second opinion to Tom's "Rambo: First Blood pt. 2" review that IT was the epitome of 80s Action but I was wrong, "Commando" is what people think of when they remember 80s Action: Unrelenting, unrealistic, full of machismo, death, violence, gore, infinite bullets and Ah-nuld. Loved it. 3.5/5 -andy

Red Heat (1988)

"Chinese find way. Right after revolution, they round up all the drug dealers, all drug addicts, take them to public square, and shoot them in back of head"- " Ah, it'd never work here. Fucking politicians wouldn't go for it" - " Shoot them first"

Oh Ah-Nuld. Quick breakdown: Bad Soviet vs. Good Solviet. Bad guy gets away and flees to Chicago. Bad guy caught in Chicago by local police. Good Solviet sent to pick him up. Bad Soviet escapes. Good Soviet assisted by Funny Cop try to track down Bad Soviet. Imagine Arnold in full "Terminator" mode with a really bad Russian accent. Imagine Peter Boyle (television's Everybody Loves Raymond - he plays Ray's Dad) as the Chief of Police, along with Jim Belushi playing, well, Jim Belushi. Add in some eye candy of a young twenty-something Gina Gershon, Laurence Fishurne when he went by Larry. It is straight 80's, from Arnold's kid-in-play hair to the mullets all the bad guys have. The handguns sound like shotguns, the shotguns sound like AK47's, and the punches sound like trees falling. This is probably the worst Arnold movie from the 80's I have ever seen. But on the brightside there is tons of great Arnold one-liners and as I mentioned before with a REALLY bad Russian accent. So that made it worth watching. 1/5 -tom

A Prayer for the Dying (1987)

"I'm not asking anybody for forgiveness, I know what I've done"

IRA terrorist Martin Fallon (Mickey Rourke) leaves a life of killing behind after accidentally blowing up a school bus full of children. He flees and is pursued by not only his government but his fellow commrade Liam (Liam Neeson). Fallon, trying to find away to be free of a life of bloodshed, is offered a deal by Dandy Jack Meehan (Alan Bates) who I could only presume is a crime boss/coroner and agrees for one more killing. In return he will recieve $50,000 and a passport to the states. The killing is to take place in a cemetary and the target is a rival crime boss. Fallon finds his target kneeling at the gravesite of his beloved wife and follows through with the deal, but to his suprise he is witnessed by Catholic Priest Father DaCosta (Bob Hoskins). Fallon spares his life and rumor of the witness gets back to Meehan who then hunts the priest down and finds he is protected by Fallon. Now taking in the fact that this movie was made in 1987 and that the only relative well known star at the time was Hoskins, the story is suprisingly good even with its religious overtones. With a haunting musical score by Bill Conti (The Karate Kid, Rocky, The Devil's Own), and very sound performances by Rourke and Bates, I couldnt help but enjoy watching this. My only problem with this movie was it was a little to long for what they were trying to get across and dragged trying to build up unneeded plot points. I wish this was remade now with the same casting and a little bigger budget because I love this story so much. I only recommend this movie to those wishing to see Mickey Rourke when he first came to the limelight as an action star, but if it is remade then line up in droves if Rourke is playing the part of Fallon again. 2/5 -tom

Above The Law (1988)

"You guys think you're above the law... well you ain't above mine!"

In 1988 Steven Seagal made his film debut with "Above The Law". I was surprised to learn this because I always considered Seagal an 80s Action star but this was his only film to come out during the entire decade. Seagal is Nico Toscani, trained in Martial Arts, recruited into the CIA during the seventies. During his time in the CIA he is sent to Vietnam where he clashes with the methods of interrogator, Kurt Zagon (Henry Silva). After he leaves the CIA he comes home to Chicago, becomes a cop, gets married to Sharon Stone and has a baby. Nico is, as usual for the heroes in these films, the No. 1 cop but this is played much more quietly than it is in films like "Tango and Cash". He is reckless and doesn't often follow orders (again, another 80s Action cliche) but is extremely likable. The plot zooms all over the place and I only really got the gist of it by the time it was over. The bad guys were great bad guys who I really wanted to see get what they deserved (which they do!) but I didn't really understand their motivations most of the time. Some films can do jumpy plot lines well like "Memento" but only really when its jumpy nature is intentional to begin with. The inability to follow exactly who was bad and what was going on was really my only gripe with this movie. Seagal is in top form, looking great and kicking ass. This movie for me really stood the test of time when compared to some other 80s Action films. It's a shame that Seagal gets painted as some kind of goofball cause his earlier works are really quite entertaining.

There are other faces you'll recognize but may be unfamiliar with their names, as I am now writing this. This is probably the most serious of the 80s films I've looked at next to "Rambo: First Blood pt. 2" and definitely the most realistic and relevant. It is also lacking a large majority of the cliches typically found in these movies, which was really a delight. You won't find Seagal walking slowly away from large explosions and he doesn't hit every single person he fires a bullet at. If you can get over what the name Seagal means now, check out what it meant in 1988 when it was first unleashed upon the American movie going audience. On a side note, Seagal has a role in Robert Rodriguez' "Machete" coming out soon and I'm really hoping this could be a come back for the guy. 3.5/5 -andy

Tango And Cash (1989)

"Rambo is A pussy!"

In the 80s, Action movies had a few basic types of movies. The 'Buddy Cop' Action movie ("Lethal Weapon"), The Sci-Fi Action Movie ("Predator"), the Military-Infused Action movie ("Rambo: First Blood pt. 2), to name a few. The nice thing about "Tango and Cash" is that while it clearly exhibits multiple 80s Action movie cliches, it doesn't really fit into any one particular category; the closest obviously being "Buddy Cop". There is a somewhat self-referential humor thing going on here with mentions of both Rambo and Conan and it's fun to see Stallone play the more straight-laced cop of the two. The plot is nothing new by today's standards and by 1989 I'm sure it had been done a few times as well, but it's still a fun ride. Stallone is no. 1 cop Ray Tango from the West side of the city (or is it East? I don't think it matters...) and Russell is Gabriel Cash from the other side of the city. Cash is reckless but not as crazy as Gibson in "Lethal Weapon" and Tango is almost preppy with his meticulous wardrobe but both are good at getting the job done. The job, in this case, is busting up multiple drug and weapons rackets and in doing so have made themselves celebrities and heroes albeit separately. The bad guy, some sort of mobster I'm guessing, is played deliciously by Jack Palance. Palance here is pretty much the same character he played the year before in Tim Burton's "Batman". Palance and his cronies frame Tango and Cash for the murder of a Federal official. They both go to prison where half the inmates were put there by them and as you can imagine, things don't go so well for them in this corrupt institution. The rest is typical 80s stuff: Tango and Cash escape prison, get a bunch of guns that magically hit their targets EVERY TIME, and set out to clear their names.

If you're a fan of this sort of thing, then you'll love it. You have to know what you're in for when you sit down with ANY 80s Action movie. "Gone With The Wind" its not, but it's not trying to be, so why judge it by the same standards? Russell is the better actor here but Stallone holds his own. Teri Hatcher also stars as Stallone's sister and is candy for the eyes but that's about the only thing she brings to the table. A fun but slightly off kilter cop movie that moves along at nice steady pace. I liked it. 3/5 -andy

While I wont be so generous with the rating, I have to agree with Andy, it is what it is, which is an 80s popcorn action movie. It is nothing special and nothing original, but I like these two actors because they play off each other so well. You cant help but not to like these two characters. You also got a feeling that everyone in this movie had a fun time making it, including Palance as the devilish villian. It is your average run of the mill buddy-cop or anti-buddy-cop movie. If your a fan of Stallone or Russell you should see it.2.5/5- tom