Cobra (1986)

"This is where the law stops and I begin!"

Once again we have another 80s Action film that adheres to every possible cliche and convention that it could possibly adhere too. Much like "Commando", "Cobra" is a bad, bad movie when looked at against all of cinema and many of its classics; however, as a Stallone film it kicked ass. What else can I say? Stallone is Marion Cabretti (aka Cobra) and is, yup, you guessed it...the top cop in the city. Cobra is a member of the 'zombie squad', a group of officers that other police call on to do the tough jobs (I thought that was the SWAT team?). When a rash of serial killings begins to plague the city, Cobra is called on to do "what he does best". The killings are being committed by not just one person but by a whole (biker?) gang of crazies who kill with knives, axes and claw hammers. Brigitte Nielsen stars as a woman who accidentally witness the group during a killing and is now on the run for her life.

Watching "Cobra" is kind of like playing a video game with god mode, unlimited ammo and one-hit kill codes on. You never fear anything will ever happen to Stallone and you know he is going to kill any body he fires at weapon at with as few bullets as possible. While not as wholly ridiculous as "Commando" it is so freaking unbelievable you'll occasionally laugh til you cry. If you're a Stallone fan or you love these types of cliched 80s Action films then you'll be in testosterone heaven but if you're looking for something deeper you may want to pass. I have to say, I found myself really having fun watching this despite its shortcomings so it gets bumped up a half a point for its pure entertainment value. 2.5/5 -andy