Lock Up (1989)

"Nothings dead until its buried"

Frank Leone (Stallone) was sent to prison for going after the men who killed his longtime friend and mentor when the police and prosecutors did nothing. He accepts what he has done and accepts the consequences and is sent to a minimum security facility where he is a model inmate. Having served four and a half years with only six months left on his term Leone is low key just biding his time until release. Then suddenly he is taken from his bed in the middle of the night and transferred to a maximum security prison upstate courtesy of Warden Drumgoole (Donald Sutherland), who Leone has a certain history with. Drumgoole wants one thing and one thing only...revenge, and will do anything in his power to make Leone's stay at his facility a waking nightmare. He is beaten, placed in segregation, and refused the right to see his girlfriend. Chink (Sonny Landham), the worst and meanest inmate in the prison along with countless guards, are under the control of the warden and all try to break Leone.

While this is one of Stallone's better movies outside of the "Rocky" and "Rambo" series', it falls apart at the end. For the most part however, it was one of the better prison movies I've seen. Stallone and Sutherland work great as hero vs. villain. Its a decent movie, but like I said, the last fifteen minutes or so just didn't do it justice. 2.5/5 -tom

Lethal Weapon 2 (1989)

"But... your ble'ck"

Picking up a few years after the first, we find Riggs (Mel Gibson) and Murtaugh (Danny Glover) still together this time on the trail of South African currency called Krugerrand which is coming into LA illegally and being used for the trade and distribution of drugs. Riggs and Murtaugh are sent to protect a witness Leo Getz (Joe Pesci) who has information on the case, but after an attempted assassination on him he now must go with them on the hunt for whoever is responsible. The three follow the trail to Arjen Rudd (Joss Ackland) and his South African henchmen who are hiding behind diplomatic immunity, which as Rudd describes "my dear officer, you couldnt even give me a parking ticket". Riggs soon finds out that not only are these men in the country conducting illegal activities but one of them is involved in what was supposedly the accidental death of his wife.

"Lethal Weapon 2" is a little more upbeat than the original with comedy relief from Pesci escpecially in the South African consulant where he tries to get Murtaugh a visa back to Africa. Gibson and Glover once again shine and are a treat together. Joss Ackland brings to the table a kind of 'James Bond' type villian, and my personal favorite of the four films, with his venomous lead henchman Pieter Vorstedt (Derrick O'Connor) tempting Riggs with stories of how his wife died. "Lethal Weapon 2" is a film that shouldn't be missed and is a good example of great movie sequels. 4.5/5 -tom

Lethal Weapon (1987)

"I'm still here asshole, or do you only shoot kids!"

Martin Riggs (Mel Gibson) is an LAPD cop struggling to make it through everyday. After losing his wife Victoria in tragic car accident, Riggs is obsessed with death and even contemplates taking his own life. He is considered by the department as a "Lethal Weapon". Roger Murtaugh (Danny Glover) is also a cop who is on the verge of retirement, father of three, and married happily. Given Rigg's recent behavior their captain decides to make them partners giving Murtaugh the job of watching over Riggs. The two are investigating a suspicious suicide of the daughter of one of Murtaugh's Vietnam buddies which leads them to a unit of former soldiers, now guns for hire, sneaking drugs into the country.The main villains, The General (Mitchell Ryan) and Joshua (Gary Busey), attempt to keep the new duo off their backs even if it means going after their families.

With excellent action, a strong storyline, good characters, and great acting by all, you cant help but to have a good time. Mel Gibson and Danny Glover are perfectly cast creating one of the most memorable duos in movie history. The two work great together and have some hilarious moments. Director Richard Donner spawned three other just as good sequels. Over twenty years later this film never gets old. This is what you want from an action movie and should be an example for all. It is 80s, it is kick-ass, it is "Lethal Weapon". 5/5 -tom

SECOND OPINION

Not much to add this except to say that Tom is right on the money. "Lethal Weapon" is a ton of fun and one of the few cases where all the sequels are nearly as good as the original. Don't let Mel Gibson's current insane behavior deter you from this awesome 80s Action movie. 5/5 -andy

Big Trouble in Little China (1986)

"I'm a reasonable guy, but Ive just experienced some of unreasonable things"

Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) is a truck driver making his way through San Fransisco when he stumbles on a war between rival Chinese gods. The gods are after a rare Chinese woman with green eyes. Burton must help protect the woman and destroy the gods by whatever means necessary.

There really is no way to describe this movie and have it make any bit of sense. From the mind of John Carpenter (Escape from New York and Halloween), this is a action/sci-fi adventure littered with everything 80s. Russell character is so over the top with his John Wayne monotone but creates a character you cant help but follow even if its to hell and back. Russell carries this movie and is at times quite funny, but it cant save this film. How this movie escaped my childhood is beyond me. I'm sure as a kid I would have enjoyed it more. But for the most part it is a "yeah I've seen it" kinda movie and I wouldn't recommend it unless you like this sorta thing. 1/5 -tom

SECOND OPINION

Well, I knew it was gonna happen eventually folks...Tom and I disagree on this one BIG TIME. In fact, its too bad that my friend here doesn't like good movies because I think he would've felt differently about "Big Trouble In Little China" if he did. What Tom doesn't tell you was that this movie is always a little bit tongue-in-cheek and has a very intentional goofy tone to it. In fact, I don't really know anybody that doesn't like it. Most of my family (parents and in-laws) have told me that it's one of their fav's from the decade. Kurt Russell's character isn't really the hero type in this film and that's the whole point of it...much like Adrian Brody in Peter Jackson's "King Kong" he is somebody who takes up the mantle of hero though they've never desired the role. I urge you to see it for yourself and disregard Tom's review. Tom - this means war!!! 5/5 -andy

Cobra (1986)

"This is where the law stops and I begin!"

Once again we have another 80s Action film that adheres to every possible cliche and convention that it could possibly adhere too. Much like "Commando", "Cobra" is a bad, bad movie when looked at against all of cinema and many of its classics; however, as a Stallone film it kicked ass. What else can I say? Stallone is Marion Cabretti (aka Cobra) and is, yup, you guessed it...the top cop in the city. Cobra is a member of the 'zombie squad', a group of officers that other police call on to do the tough jobs (I thought that was the SWAT team?). When a rash of serial killings begins to plague the city, Cobra is called on to do "what he does best". The killings are being committed by not just one person but by a whole (biker?) gang of crazies who kill with knives, axes and claw hammers. Brigitte Nielsen stars as a woman who accidentally witness the group during a killing and is now on the run for her life.

Watching "Cobra" is kind of like playing a video game with god mode, unlimited ammo and one-hit kill codes on. You never fear anything will ever happen to Stallone and you know he is going to kill any body he fires at weapon at with as few bullets as possible. While not as wholly ridiculous as "Commando" it is so freaking unbelievable you'll occasionally laugh til you cry. If you're a Stallone fan or you love these types of cliched 80s Action films then you'll be in testosterone heaven but if you're looking for something deeper you may want to pass. I have to say, I found myself really having fun watching this despite its shortcomings so it gets bumped up a half a point for its pure entertainment value. 2.5/5 -andy

On A Side Note...KC Studios

Ok, so I'm gonna take a small break from 80s Action Week to tell you about something I think is really cool. My friend and his buddies have this podcast called "KC Studios". They talk about anything and everything, including but not limited to video games, movies, television, sports and even Nascar. What's so great about their podcast is that they're just regular guys like us. When we started this blog we did so with the intent of being more professional than the average joe but more average joe than the professionals. I know we'd like to believe you can have fun having an easy read with one of our reviews. That's what KC Studios is like, except you can actually hear them talk instead of just reading their words. Nobody's opinion gets trampled on and man, it really is a good time to hear normal everyday guys talking about what we actually care to hear about and not just reporting what they think we want to hear.

I encourage you to check it out and support them as you continue to support us! Thanks! -andy

http://kcstudios.podbean.com/

Kickboxer (1989)

" I want Tong Po! Give me Tong Po! "

Oh, Van Damme, how you filled my youth with your martial arts movies. Because of you I took Karate lessons for a year or so when I was in Elementary school. I wonder how many times has your thick-as-mud French accent been passed off as American? Ah, The memories. "Kickboxer" came out in 1989 but it looks like it came out in 1979. It doesn't hold up well visually and Van Damme's acting is as stiff and hard as his ridiculously chiseled physique. The Martial Arts film has its own little niche in 80s Action films and this is where Jean Claude Van Damme made himself a star. There is little difference between this or many more of his own films and others. The story follows Kurt (Van Damme) and his Kickboxing champion older brother Eric as they travel to Thailand to compete against Thailand's greatest, Tong Po. Eric is cocky and convinced he will win. Kurt tries to change his mind to no avail. Eric is promptly defeated and paralyzed from the waist down due to a final elbow to the back by Tong Po. Kurt vows revenge (who didn't see that coming?) and is introduced to Xian Chow by Winston (the former military man who drove Kurt and Eric to the hospital after the fight). Xian Chow trains Kurt in Muay Thai Kickboxing in a fashion not unlike Mr. Miyagi trains Daniel-san in "Karate Kid". That's pretty much the extent of the plot.

I didn't hate "Kickboxer" but I didn't really like it much either. I loved Van Damme movies when I was young but I hadn't seen one in nearly 20 years. The martial arts are good and Van Damme, as with other 80s Action stars during the decade, is in his prime but the dialog is terrible, the characters are goofy, underdeveloped and not very believable. For hardcore Van Damme fans only. Skip on this and instead see "Best of the Best." 1/5 -andy

Rambo 3 (1988)

"Who are you."- "Your worst nightmare."

In the third part of the Rambo quadrilogy we find our hero at a Buddhist monastery living a life of peace and serenity, closed off from the outside world for several years . Once again Rambo is met by Colonel Trautman (Richard Crenna) with an offer to assist him and a crew of soldiers in aiding relief in Afghanistan from a Russian dictator. Rambo denies and the colonel and his crew go into Afghanistan and are captured by the Russians and labeled as spies and held as POWS. Now in the past Rambo has been saved by the colonel numerous times, now the role is reversed, Rambo has no choice but to do what he does best... become war. He travels to Afghanistan and is aided by locals in the search and capture of his missing friend.

While "Rambo III" is the weakest of the four films it is still an outstanding action film. It is a story of two friends and the lengths they will go to save one another. The main villain is a little corny but most are in this genre. It was nice to see the roles reversed between Stallone and Crenna and the two played well together. "Rambo III" is full of outrageous stunts, explosions, and dialog. But all and all a memorable action film. I will leave "Rambo", the fourth film in the series to Andy. I cannot wait for that review either. I hope he is as impressed with it as much as I was. So on that note "Rambo III"... worth watching. 3/5 -tom

SECOND OPINION

I just finished watching "Rambo 3" for the first time ever so I thought I'd pop on here give a couple of brief thoughts. For me, this was the most enjoyable Rambo film yet. Sure, it was pretty unbelievable but no more unbelievable than any other Rambo film or Ah-nuld movie from the 80s. It had twice as much action as "Rambo: First Blood Pt. 2", it moved along at a much better pace and there were tons of really cool explosions and kills. The reversal of Trautman and Rambo's roles in this one, I thought, made things really interesting and changed the dynamic to just the right degree. 3.5/5 -andy

Commando (1985)

"I eat Green Berets for Breakfast...and right now I'm very hungry!"

Like Tom's review for "Red Heat" this will be relatively brief. If you've ever seen a parody of 80s Action, namely "Hot Shots" and a few others like it, then you've seen "Commando". It is every Military-Infused Action cliche rolled into one movie. I'm at a loss how to review it, though. Taken on its merits as a part of American Cinema it is a joke but I can't tell you how much fun I had watching it. There were more one liner's than you could count and they were all gold!! The villain had an awful fake accent and Arnold's former pal turned bad guy Bennet, well, he could have been in the Village People. The guns are huge and loud and in the climax of the film, Ah-nuld is carrying so many guns they are literally hanging off of him. All Ah-nuld has to do is pull the trigger and wave his massive gun from left to right and bad guys just fall down...oh my god, it was 80s Action Movie cheese at its best. I won't say much about the story because honestly there isn't much to say. Ah-nuld is John Matrix, yes you read that correcty, John Matrix. He is a retired Army commando who lives with his daughter in the mountains of Northern California. Ah-nuld's former commando teammates start getting picked off so his former commanding officer visits to warn that he may be next. Immediately following the Generals departure Ah-nuld is attacked, his daughter is kidnapped and he is forced to go on one last mission but this time for the bad guys. Let's just say it doesn't turn out too well for them.

I said in my second opinion to Tom's "Rambo: First Blood pt. 2" review that IT was the epitome of 80s Action but I was wrong, "Commando" is what people think of when they remember 80s Action: Unrelenting, unrealistic, full of machismo, death, violence, gore, infinite bullets and Ah-nuld. Loved it. 3.5/5 -andy

Red Heat (1988)

"Chinese find way. Right after revolution, they round up all the drug dealers, all drug addicts, take them to public square, and shoot them in back of head"- " Ah, it'd never work here. Fucking politicians wouldn't go for it" - " Shoot them first"

Oh Ah-Nuld. Quick breakdown: Bad Soviet vs. Good Solviet. Bad guy gets away and flees to Chicago. Bad guy caught in Chicago by local police. Good Solviet sent to pick him up. Bad Soviet escapes. Good Soviet assisted by Funny Cop try to track down Bad Soviet. Imagine Arnold in full "Terminator" mode with a really bad Russian accent. Imagine Peter Boyle (television's Everybody Loves Raymond - he plays Ray's Dad) as the Chief of Police, along with Jim Belushi playing, well, Jim Belushi. Add in some eye candy of a young twenty-something Gina Gershon, Laurence Fishurne when he went by Larry. It is straight 80's, from Arnold's kid-in-play hair to the mullets all the bad guys have. The handguns sound like shotguns, the shotguns sound like AK47's, and the punches sound like trees falling. This is probably the worst Arnold movie from the 80's I have ever seen. But on the brightside there is tons of great Arnold one-liners and as I mentioned before with a REALLY bad Russian accent. So that made it worth watching. 1/5 -tom